(Yet Another "Modest Proposal").
cause of homelessness is the existence of the homeless. Without the
homeless there would be no homelessness! Over the years, many ways
of eliminating of the homeless have been found, and human ingenuity
continues to develop new ways of making the life of the homeless
more difficult, if not out-right impossible. However, despite of
all the efforts, the homeless are increasing in numbers, and
continuing to cause homelessness!
Something has to be done, or else the homeless will take over!
Here are a few suggestions how the problem could be tackled:
Let us change the status of the homeless from "human" to "pest",
which they, in reality, are anyhow. That would make impossible for
misguided individuals to offer any shelter, food, or indeed
any civilized comforts to the pests at all! Those people who
would give any "spare change" to the "panhandlers" could be fined,
the same as those who feed the pesky pigeons in some places! This
measure would free wasted resources, no matter how scanty these
resources might be, for to be used on worthier projects, such as
aiding the peace keeping effort in the world, or gentrifying our towns.
The noxious homeless should be banned from any public buildings,
and from approaching any entrance to closer than 20 feet!
Urban planning should take into account the fact that the homeless
like to shelter themselves from the rain under the eves of
buildings, and approve only of building structures that would lack
this feature. Many homeless are to be found hiding in the
shrubbery--eliminate such by planting tall plants that do not
provide any hiding places!
Why feed the canines at the K-9 units for nothing! For exercise the
dogs could be used in nightly conducted homeless-hunts, flushing
the homeless out even from the most remote recesses.
Raise the rents and the cost of real estate sizably periodically,
so that no homeless could ever afford to purchase the right to
sleep by using, without a doubt, illicitly gained human cash.
Thus, because being deprived of any human comforts whatsoever, the
homeless would eventually collapse from exhaustion, and their
carcasses could be used to make pet food, soap, and if their pelts
be tattoo-ed, those could provide material for manufacturing
handsome lamp-shades to be sold to tourists!
All the above suggestions are (or have been, historically) being ,
or are being considered to be, implemented already, but considering
the trend in the homeless numbers rise, more useful ways of getting
rid of the homeless have to be contemplated, which, knowing humans,
will be done. Or else, if we are not vigilant, all of us will end
up being homeless ourselves!